My counselling course is raking up quite a big amount of repressed issues I had previously thought I had dealt with.
I have been going through some really strong personal issues, dealing with some present emotional experiences and finding myself looking deeply at my life situation at the moment
I have not felt like writing or doing much of anything else while I have been off work. This week I went out once to the doctors and came right back.
I will share with you something personal, I have a new male friend with a romantic interest beginning to bloom. He has a wonderful manner, he is gentle, encouraging, has a way that empowers me as a woman to be more than I am right now. He has a peaceful attitude and we have talked every day. Great I hear you say, yes there is a BUT. He lives over 200 miles away and I live on a little island, he also has a very true commitment to his son from a previous relationship. I met him in London two weeks ago, and he was going to come here to visit me next week.
Last night I went to my counselling class as usual but we re capped on all the previous weeks to review how much we had actually learned, it was really good. I came home feeling quite good with myself; I put on my favourite music channel on television.
My male friend rang me as he was to tell me he couldn't make it next week. He sounded just as disappointed as I felt. I put the phone down and sat upset, feeling my heart sink on the floor like a cartoon heart dragging along the floor. Then on came ' Have I told you lately that I love you' by Van Morrison.... I looked up at my picture of my son's father Lawrence Michael Homan known as Lol. I knew his spirit was letting me know I am loved. I was feeling a little down, then the next music video was Stevie Wonder 'I just called to Say I love you' this was one my dad's favourite song.
How wonderful is that from spirit? To show me that no matter what I am loved. This is a most wonderful reassurance that I am not alone, that I am surely loved from spirit. I felt uplifted and smiled to myself.
I realise that I am going to be releasing so much in the next few weeks.
Today was a beautiful day I spent this with my son and we spent most of it talking about family and especially about his dad, my dad and the fact that he is becoming a father himself at the end of August.
I have added a piece from my book I am trying my best to re write.
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Christmas 1997
Celine my friend at the time, and I had decided to go to spiritual church on Christmas Eve, this was the first opportunity I had been able to leave the house to go to church at Christmas.
That evening leading up to going to church Celine had visited me and we had a couple of drinks, but she was driving so we just sat in the front room and talked I had changed it all round and Mick had light the coal fire it looked so cosy. We were listening to music on the stereo when Mick decided to change the music to Rod Stewart; as he opened the CD case I got the distinct smell of marijuana it sounds odd but I looked at Celine and asked her could she smell anything she said no at first, Mick was a bit drunk so he just answered no any way. I left it but as Have I told you lately that I love you, began to play the smell went. I felt a presence but didn't say anything for fear of sounding foolish. When we were in the car going to church Celine admitted that she had smelt the strange fragrance and that it went when the song had finally finished.
The person I thought it could have been was Lol he loved Rod Stewart and I know he occasionally 'smoked'.
This is not the first time I have had a smell of someone near me and especially in my front room. I called it my calming room as every one who comes in the room goes out feeling better.
Dees Inspirations 07 ©
